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So I’m trying to find out some information on how things have changed in dating styles since it’s not longer the guy that does all the initial contact. So guys, do you like it when a girl approaches you first? Or would you rather be the one to start everything? And ladies, would you, or have you ever, approached the guy first? Or would you rather him to come to you?

Feel free to include personal opinions, stories, explanations, ect.

Thanks, everyone!

I am new to the dating scene. I had a good date with a guy on Friday, how long do I wait to call hm or email him? I already messed up this one, I emailed him before finding out what was appropriate. But for future reference, after a first date, I shouldnt call or email him at all right? Let him call first? How long do I wiat? I never make the next move of calling? Sorry that’s more than one question.

I’m on OkCupid (a free dating site) and I was wondering what kind of messages I should send girls my age (18-23). I feel there are different approaches. I could give a quick little compliment. I could show interest in some things she talked about on her profile. I could tell her a bit about myself. It could be a long or short message.

Basically, I want to know what kind of messages you (girls) would most like to receive from a guy on a dating site who’s looking for a serious friendship/relationship. I can be casual, sarcastic, witty, romantic, or anything in between. I just don’t know what style is best for the initial contact.

Obviously, it’s a dating site, and I don’t want to think I’m leading her on and not getting down to asking her out, but I don’t want to seem too eager or anything. We emailed online for a bit, and I talked to her on the phone last night, and we’ve been texting a bit today.

I recently went on a first date with a girl, and I think we both had a pretty good time. I always wonder how long I should wait to call after a first date though. Calling the next day seems like it would be high-pressure and clingy, but waiting a week or more seems like too much.

Thanks for your thoughts.

This is what I have so far and I need to find out what I am missing to make it display what the teacher wants it to display.

Instructions:
Create a program called Date.java to perform error-checking on the initial values for instance: fields month, day and year. Also, provide a method nextDay() to increment the day by one. The Date object should always remain in a consistent state. Write a program that tests the nextDay method in a loop that prints the date during each iteration of the loop to illustrate that the nextDay method works correctly. Test the following cases:

a) incrementing into the next month.

b) incrementing into the next year.

public class Date {
private int day; // 1-31
private int month; // 1-12
private int year; // The year!

// Get Methods
// get the Day
public int getDay()
{
return day;
}

// get the Month
public int getMonth()
{
return month;

}

// get the Year
public int getYear()
{
return year;

}

// Set Methods.
public void setTime( int d, int m, int y )
{
setDay( d ); // set the day
setMonth( m ); // set the month
setYear( y ); // set the year
}

private void setDay(int d) {
}
public Date() { setDay( 07, 20, 2010 ); }

// Time3 constructor: day, month and year supplied.
public Date( int d, int m, int y ) { setDay( d, m, y ); }

// set the day
public void setDay( int d, int i, int j )
{ day = ( ( d >= 0 && d < 32 ) ? d : 0 ); }

// set the month
public void setMonth( int m )
{ month = ( ( m >= 0 && m < 12 ) ? m : 0 ); }

// set the year
public void setYear( int y )
{ year = ( ( y >= 0 && y > 0 ) ? y : 0 ); }

// Change day to next day!
public void nextDay()
{
setDay( day + 1 );
if ( day == 0 )
nextDay();
if (day <= 31)
nextDay();
}

// Increment the Month
public void incrementMonth()
{
setMonth( month + 1 );

if ( month == 0 )
incrementMonth();
if (month <12)
incrementMonth();
}

// Increment the Year
public void incrementYear()
{
setYear( year + 1 );
}
// Convert to String in standard-date format
public String toString()
{
return ( ( month == 12 || month == 0 ) ? 12 : month % 12 ) +
"/" + ( day < 31 ) + year +
"/" + ( year > 0 );
}

}

public class Test {
public static void main(String[]args){

Date myDate = new Date(9,20,2010);
int d,m ,y;

for(int i=12;i<20;i++)
if (i == 0 && i <12);
myDate.incrementMonth();
for(int i=0;i<20;i++)
if (i == 0 && i<=31 )
myDate.nextDay();
for(int i=0;i<20;i++)
if (i ==0 )
myDate.incrementYear();
{
{

System.out.println("Date is now "+myDate.toString() );
myDate.nextDay();
}
}}

}

It’s actually my daughter. She filed a grievance with the California Medical Board against her former OB/Gyn. After an investigation concluded that there was inadequate evidence to charge the doctor, he turned around and sued my daughter for 00., the maximum amount allowed in small claims court in California, for "unpaid medical bills". She knew she didn’t owe him anything and certainly not 00. so when she went to court the doctor had falsefied a bill with no details on it for a date my daughter had proof she wasn’t even in the state of California and for a procedure she didn’t have. During his initial statement to the judge the doctor blurted out a lot of extremely personal information that he got from her actual records, information that was (a) irrelevant to his claim, (b) the claim was false and (c) absolutely without her knowledge before hand or permission.
When the judge asked him," Why did you wait so long to do something about this?" the doctor only said "There were issues." Then the judge asked him if he had attempted to contact her since these alledged charges were incurred (3 years) and the doctor said yes then held up an envelope saying "I sent this but it came back because she had moved." When the balif handed it to the judge, he saw that it was the subpoena for the law suit, not a bill. He asked the doctor, " where are the bills, the statements, copies of the letters sent to her in the mail? Where are the notes that calls were made? " The doctor showed the judge the falsified bill he had manufactured recently on his computer and it wasn’t even on office letterhead. The judge asked him, " So, did you begin trying to collect this right away?" the dr said "yes, right away." a little while later the judge asked " How long did you wait to try to contact her about the debt?" and the dr said " a year." The judge asked him, " Is it typical to wait a year before contacting a patient about a 00. debt?" and the dr said, " Oh, yes. We always wait a year. (pause) Sometimes two years." The judge asked him "Did you wait until the investigation by the Medical Board was closed to file this law suit?" The doctor answered "Yes, I waited"

My daughter won the law suit.

So now, she wants to find out what all she can sue him for and how to go about it. Any suggestions?

Thanks so much.

Why do women complain and get frustrated about them having bad luck with men? Seriously, there are more men on the planet that have bad luck with women than there are women who have bad luck with men. The reason why men have it harder is because men have to do the chasing, pursuing, and initiating the date and relationship, the man has to be the one to make the first move and start a conversation, any form of verbal communication with a woman, the man initiates it or starts it. Yes I am aware that it is Tradition, that is the way it has always been, it has been that way for Centuries, Thousands of Years, but still, approaching a woman and starting a conversation with her and asking her out, initiating the date and relationship is a lot easier said than done, most women think it’s easier for us men than it really is, it’s not as easy as women make it out to be.
I’m not whining I’m just stating the facts, women never pursue or chase men or take the initiative. I know that Dating and Relationships, getting or having a boyfriend/girlfriend is hard for both genders but in different ways, but I still think Women have it easier than Men, Women have it easier initially, and the initial stages are the biggest step.
I know it’s tradition, I know it has always been that way, the guy courting the girl, asking her out and initiating the date and relationship, thats the way it has always been and the way it probably always will be, and that sucks for the shy guys, shyness hurts guys more than it hurts girls.
I really hope I get answers to this question
The part that I am referring to about Tradition is the part that it is the guy’s role, the guy’s initiative to get himself a girlfriend, like he has to do the chasing and pursuing.

…(in a week, let’s say) do you want him to make contact with you?…

That is, how many times is acceptable for a guy- whom you are not even sure you like yet- to contact you (i.e. to talk, say hello, make plans, leave a nice message, text, email, etc) without him being annoying or appearing too needy?…

Ok… 22 f San Diego, CA dating a 25 f San Diego,CA. Met at a local hangout bar/grill. She was wasted and threw herself at me. I gave her my number and said call me when you she wasnt wasted. We talked a while and i did see she was an interesting person and had her self together.

We went to sushi for first meeting after the initial meeting at the bar. Then went to a different mellow local bar and i got wasted and stayed at her place… no sex, just snuggles.

Started talking on Video Chat and phone, text. Going on dates. She would get anxiety staying at my house and couldnt sleep bc her mind was going nuts.

I stayed with her only when we went out drinking so i wouldnt drive home (45 minutes from downtown). No sex for the first 3 months.

She told me from the beginning she wants a relationship, but doesnt see us being together or being each others type. However, she said she had feelings for me, and didnt know what we were doing.

After 3 months of snuggling together and knowing each others every move of everyday… she put a hard stop on things saying she didnt see it going to the next level (mind you, before we slept together). And we should not keep up the high level of communication like previously, since we are not moving forward.
That same night, we met up for drinks at the local place we met. We both got drunk and went to her place and slept together. The days following that were fine, until a couple days later… she got weird and said she couldnt say it any other way, we are not going to move any further.

So we put some distance between us and talked lightly and didnt see each other for a week. After a week we met at a local pool to tan and hang out. She had some drinks and was drunk. She got wasted and stared throwing herself at me saying she is sorry and she really wants me. She even said she loves me, i brushed them all off bc she was drunk, but i feel it too. She kept saying she was serious bc she saw me brushing them off. I havent brought up the I love yous since bc i dont want to hold her to a drunken I LOVE YOU. I had to take her home bc she wouldnt stop throwing herself at me and PDA wasnt allowed at the family pool. So we went to her place and messed around for hours.

The following week was amazing, happy little couple. Then the weekend rolled around and she went out downtown with friends and i went out with mine. she needed a ride home so i picked her up and we went to her place to sleep and i took her to her car the next morning, we got coffee before she had to go to work at 8am.

The Saturday went well until she said she was going on a boat and drinking champagne…she got really short and distant for the whole weekend.

Finally she said she was sorry for being short, she was in a weird weekend all weekend and felt like we were together and she had to answer to me. Or keep this high level of communication up that she didnt want.

She says she is sorry and not in the mood to talk about anything. She has nothing definitive to say and she needs a break and space.

What is this, what do i do. I care for her a lot and she is a good person, just doesnt seem to know what she wants or is afraid of settling down.

I need advice. My friends say she is playing me… but i dont think she would. She is very mellow but gets nuts when she is drunk, Maybe guilt from the weekend??

the girl i have been dating called me back after i had called her twice and sent one very innocent (not creepy but thoughtful/non chalant) text message (i bought her favorite food when i went shopping). when she called i was sleeping so i called her back and she said she was in florida lying on a beach. she asked me to do her a favor, and go online to check the weather. since i just woke up and only heard "could you please do me a favor?" i started to go online and check. she told me to call her back when i found it so we said bye and the second i hung up the wait a minute light flicked on in my head: So she is in florida lying on a beach and calls to ask me what the weather is! there; obviously a viscious girl tactic but i dont really care cuz i know she really called cuz she thought about me and wanted to mess with me a little so i called back to make fun of her and sweet talk but my phone is broke. it ended up that my call did go through she just didnt answer. when i was in the shower she called back and left this message "hey baby uh gimmie a call back i miss you bye". is the "uh" good or bad? does it mean shes nervous when she leaves a voicemail? was she trying to mess with me some more and then got nervous when she left a message? im leaning towards make her wait for my call. In the Initial phone conversation she invited me to come down to florida and drive back with them and i said i was buisy in a very convincing but not in an A hole fashion (impressive for my caliber) but i doubt she was serious. advice?

What if the woman is just upfront, and just wants to know where she stands so she can just move on, what do you think?

or about any other scenario?

I myself have never called a guy after the first date… just curious?

I’m about to contact my birth mother for the very first time. It’s gonna be by letter. I can’t think of anything from me personally that I want to include in that initial letter because it’s too early, so I’m thinking I’ll use Social Services’ entirely neutral letter, which is basically ‘I (unnamed social worker) have been working (to cut a long story short for the purposes of this question only) with (unnamed i.e me but birth name; date of birth; place of birth) who I believe to be the daughter you gave up for adoption. Could you get in contact with me (i.e the social worker) to discuss this further?
That’s a gross simplification but it gets the point- i.e that the social worker I’ve been working with would like my birth mother to contact her to discuss things. I’m thinking that’s a good place to start because there is no immediate emotional outpouring from me, there is nothing personal ABOUT her herself and there’s nothing to say, yeah, your daughter you gave up is doing (whatever) now and would like to contact you, by which I mean I don’t want to risk answering any of the things she may have wondered about in this initial letter and make it easy for her to ignore because she can think, ‘it worked out’ etc. Do you know what I mean? Basically, is staying with a standard letter a good thing at absolute, initial contact, or should it be more personal? I totally don’t know, thought I did but I don’t. What did you say? Is my plan OK? Should I be more personal? Totally don’t know, any advice/experience would be very gratefully received. Thanks.

how can I start a conversation with a guy I’m attracted to?

Had a first date today over coffee…was decent…plenty of conversation and no dead spots…she just wasn’t as flirtatious/bubbly as most girls I date and had trouble with eye contact.

Its a little odd since she pursued me at first giving me her #. Granted we were at a bar…then gave me a call to reconfirm before we were supposed to meet up. Makes me think she was interested for sure beforehand.

I can’t imagine having done much on the date to throw things off and plenty of good coversation. Just her initial signs of interest were very much on hold during our "date" itself. Or she was just nervous…

Date ended as I had class (we’re both college students). I ended up being a little late to class b/c of it and was joking about it before we went our seperate ways…texted her something to the effect of "I’m 30 min. late. I’m gonna have to blame you" and no follow up from her…wonder what’s going on in her head?

I had my BF arrested. He was abusive physically, and was arrested. I still love him, #1 is this normal? #2 after 1st court date, does not call anymore.
Also, the state of TN placed a restraint on him from contacting me, in which he did contact me and we spent a wonderful night together. He said he did not recall what happened. He was drinking (as usual when he would get angry about things).
Thereafter his initial court date (which I did not appear), he stopped contacting me. Why?
Why can’t I let this go?
-
Amber Caroline

1.Unlike with other codes, there is a natural connection between language symbols and the things they represent.
2.The cognitive language that you use about people or things affects your experiences with them.
3.Questioning behaviors is one way of using language to accomplish the functional competency of informing.
4.The word fork is more abstract than the word utensil.
5.On their first date, Rebecca asked Andy what he did for a living. Andy responded vaguely, “Oh, I work in retail.” To encourage him to provide details, Rebecca had to ask Andy, “What types of stores?” and “What types of positions have you held? We would categorize Andy’s initial highly abstract response as equivocation.
6.When someone says that a disagreement is related to semantics, he or she is suggesting that the root of the problem is disagreement about the meanings that the words have for the people involved.
7.Using informal language can create a comfortable and informal context.
8.High-context cultures use indirect language and use contextual cues—like time, place, and relationship—to encode and decode messages.
9.When comparing men and women who have equal status, men tend to interrupt more often than women do.
10.Speakers who use qualifiers, hedges, and disclaimers are usually perceived to be uncertain or hesitant and therefore less powerful.

I dont know why it is so hard to find a decent girl these days. I took my friends advice and started looking into the online dating to find someone. One thing is that I am 34 years old and am I getting old to find someone and eventually get married to? When I go on the online dating website and sent and initial communication to someone they never get back to me, I dont say anything immature to the person. One thing that gets me is that I did talk to one girl and asked if she wanted to meet me in person for coffee and she told me that "lets talk some more and then maybe we can meet up in person." I am thinking thatI will not go anywhere with that girl. I am not a bum or anything I have a wonderful career and have a nice home and drive a nice car. I love going to comedy clubs and go to ballroom dancing. But the ballroom dancing is getting bad because when I go to the school it is mostly couples there and I feel out of place. I go to the comedy clubs and again I see younger couples than me kissing and holding hand and all that jazz. I wonder when I will ever find someone? I spoke with another girl on the online dating site and she was 27 years old and she told me that I was way too old for her. Is because that I am 34 years old that girls in their mid to late 20s will not be interested in me?
Should I just give up or what? I am going to be 35 next year and it just makes things hard. What should I do? Please help with suggestions

Ok yesterday we had a first date. Walked in the town and were in the pizzeria for almost 3,5 hours till the late evening. Then he lead me to the bus station. When I returned, he called me and asked me "Did you returned home safely?" And wished good night for each other. Today I’m interested – who needs to call first the next date after a date? He or me?

I’m going through a bit of a dilemma here. Met old female classmate from jr. high school (after ten years) and we went out drinking, dancing, and kissing. Later on we exchanged numbers.

I want to ask her out on a date but I keep getting different answers from people.
One sounds valid stating I should call her first while others say I should wait for her to call.

What do you think?